T'was the night before Mother's Day

T'was the night before Mother's Day, when all through the house not a creature was stirring, not even a--oh, wait there is a child stirring, she wants water, again! (She spilled the first cup...)

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that someone would fold them and put them away where they belong, they've been hanging there a week!

The children were nestled all snug in their beds, (except the child who just spilled her second cup of water!) while visions of sugar-free plums danced in their heads.

And Papa in his cap, and I in my 'kerchief, had just settled our brains for a long winter's... (What rhymes with 'kerchief?)

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. (And tripped over a toy truck left on the floor--must I always put the toys away?)

Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutter, and threw up the sash. This sash is dirty! That reminds me, I have to do the laundry in the morning.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the lustre of midday to objects below, when, what to my wondering eyes should appear, but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

What? A miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer? Am I seeing things--again? I MUST BE SLEEP DEPRIVED! I have GOT to get some rest!

"Happy Mother's Day to all, and to all a good night!"

by Lisa Nolan

{From the archives.}

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Will work for comments! Please leave a comment on my Facebook page, thanks!

The Top 5 Parent Humor Pins on Pinterest Series 01

It's the Top 5 Parent Humor Pins Series 01! My Pinterest board, Parent Humor, has some awesomely funny pins! So I decided to pick the most popular! (But wait, first click on this link and follow the board! Now follow me here on Pinterest, thanks and applause!)

Alright, here we go!

#5 Pinned by Allison Hart Motherhood, WTF? Nursing baby in museum  got 45 re pins!

#4 Pinned by Allison Hart Motherhood, WTF? Blue Smurf baby got 62 re pins!

#3 Pinned by Susan McLean-Author "Sometimes I think I'm an unwilling participant in a study on sleep deprivation - then I remember I'm just a Mother" got 77 re pins!

#2 Pinned by Allison Hart Motherhood, WTF? "I have decided I no longer want to be an adult..." got 86 re pins!

I'm sensing a pattern here, Allison Hart can pick some winners! Wow!

OK, she's a must follow on Pinterest!

Are you ready for number one! Drum roll please! "Ddddddddddddd!"

#1 Pinned by Allison Hart Motherhood, WTF? (What, again!?)  "Hahahaha so true" got 169 re pins!

Which one is YOUR favorite? Leave your answer on my Facebook page!

The Ice Skater, The Knight, and The Grey Chair {Whimsical Wednesday}

Sketch by June Holmes

Once upon a time in an ice rink there sat a lonely grey chair. (OK, it used to be white but over years it turned some other color, let's just call it grey.) No one ever sat in the chair, not even the young figure skater who loved to eat onions.

One day the skater got a stomach ache (you guessed it, from eating too many onions). And because of that she sat in the lonely chair. It was so comfortable she fell asleep and dreamed about a big grey shark who was suffering from a terrible toothache.

Suddenly the skater was awakened by a hand shaking her shoulder. She looked up to see a knight in shining armor staring down at her. "Excuse me Miss, are you feeling alright?"

The young girl blinked her eyes."You're not a shark!"

"No. Miss, I'm an actor. I just finished rehearsing for a play and I came in here to do some skating. It calms me down."

She was fully awake now, and thanked the knight-in-shining-amour actor for almost coming to her rescue.

"Well, I'm glad nothing is the matter," he replied. He turned around, slowly (his armour was the heavy kind) and clomped away, the metal costume clanking as he took each step.

Feeling refreshed, the skater was ready to go back out on the ice, but the chair she had been napping in would not let her go. "Help!" she yelled. "I'm stuck!" The more she wriggled, the more the chair squished itself around her until finally the man in armour came stomping over and pulled her arms with all his might.

With the actor's help, she escaped the clutches of the chair. And ever since that day, she never sat in another chair again.
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(This was a group, free-writing exercise--with props, I did in a Kid Lit Salon a few years back. It's, um, let's see... it's whimsical!)

Will work for comments! Please comment on my Facebook page!
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I'm linking up to Whimsical Wednesday at Moms Who Write and Blog!

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Second-Chance Sunday Blog Hop

 

Second-Chance Sunday Blog Hop for good ole mom lit, chick lit, and parent humor!

Climbing Stairs

Photo by Lisa Nolan

It was a breezy Sunday morning as my husband and I took our son Jason to his favorite spot, the town square, slash wall fountain, slash goo on the bricks, slash paper napkins billowing all around, slash dogs off leashes, slash other tots totting around... to perform his favorite activity (besides grabbing goo and napkins and dogs and tots and water fountain puddles): climbing stairs--45 to be exact.

Why My Dog Loves Walking Me in the Rain

Yes, it's true: my dog loves walking me in the rain. She's a Lab: Labs were trained to fetch fishing nets in the water in some place like New Zealand where it's very freaky cold. Freaky. Cold. So she's cool like that, in the rain.

Me, not so much. But I can't complain, well... maybe a little.

How Not to Write Every Day

Photo by M Jost

Admit it, you've bought a book or two or three on writer's block, or the writer's life, or some other how-to writing book (I know I have). They all say the same thing: if you want to be a writer (and get published) you have to write every day. Yes, that's the secret to having a successful, or at least a fulfilling, writing career.

Now that I've got that rubbish out of the way, I'm here to tell you the six rules for how NOT to write every day. Isn't that what most of us writers do (or don't do)? In fact, wouldn't you be writing RIGHT NOW, instead of cruising the Internet and reading blogs about writing? That's rule number one by the way: turning on your computer each day and distracting yourself by reading blog posts.

Face Your Writing Demons

Photo by M Jost

I'm naming my writing demons as if they were pets.  (They are not pets, otherwise I'd call them My Writing Pets.)

I mean, if you are going to live with them in your head, you might as well call them something other than demons.

My first writing demon is called Procrastination.

Ms. Crash for short.

My second one is called I Never Have Time to Write.

Oh, wait, that's Ms. Crash, sorry Ms. Crash, you'll always be number one!

Life Was So Much Simpler When We Were Kids!

Me as a youngster in 1969.

My life as a child was simple. A slinky on the back stairs kept me entertained for 30 minutes, enough time for my mom to prepare cup-a-soup and white-bread toast for lunch with lime jello for dessert. Then it was off to the schoolyard to play with empty milk cartons by filling them with water from the leaky drinking fountain and chasing unsuspecting seagulls. Then I soaked my friends and they soaked me and nobody cared that we would 'catch our death of cold'. Now-a-days kids can't even get their sleeves wet!

Best Mom Lit of 2012

Get ready for some amazing mom lit! Have a box of tissues? You may need a few. These are my favorite mom lit blog posts in 2012. It was a heck of a roller coaster year. What did some moms do? Sob, get angry, laugh, be thankful, then write about it on their blogs!

OK! Here we go! Strap yourself in! (In no particular order.)

Source: wannabeyummymummie.wordpress.com via Lisa Nolan on Pinterest

{Wanna Be Yummy Mummie}: Will this mom run out of magic with her young son?

Source: alittlesomethingforme.com via Lisa Nolan on Pinterest

From the {A Little Something for Me} blog: "Our children's health"

Source: breaktheparentingmold.com via Lisa Nolan on Pinterest

"Making the tough decisions or Mr Rogers, Shooting Galleries, and Carousels" A little boy gets more time... to be a little boy. {Breaking the Parenting Mold blog}