Is an Imperfect Mom the New Normal? {The Sunday Parenting Party}


We as parents put pressure on ourselves when it comes to our children: "Wean the tot off the bottle or he'll get too attached," "Take away the pacifier or it will affect your child's speech," "Get on the potty train NOW or your son will miss it," "Give less juice and more milk and improve your family's diet," and the list goes on!

And the fact that we're experiencing the most difficult economic times since the Great Depression means life is more overwhelming than ever. We're over-doing, over-thinking, over-working, over-compensating, and over-tired.

I want to say as a mom who puts pressure on herself to keep up with it all, to "Give yourself permission to be an imperfect parent."

It seems we are always striving, and that is a good thing. But I must confess, as a mom, I feel I am often over-striving. And I need to stop and remind myself that it is OK to be less than: less than perfect!

I'm not a perfectionist, not by any means, just an over-doer-mom. Part of the reason is my Montessori background and the fact that I have a special needs child who has many, many needs and the pressure to fulfill those needs is great.

But at the same time, I am OK with NOT being the perfect parent. I am laxed with the potty training. I allow my son to watch videos (I tell myself it's because he's an only child with no siblings to play with). Sometimes I forget to have him brush his teeth. I let him have his "blankie" (still) at age 4 1/2. I buy him too many books and puzzles (that's probably a good thing). I don't give him juice but I let him have chocolate soy milk mixed with regular milk.

Above and beyond parenting we put pressure on ourselves to clean, cook, budget, pay bills on time, pull weeds, care for an aging parent, bake cookies (actually I don't do that), do laundry, have a social life (goodness forbid!), and... you get the picture.

So... what if we let the house work go? Say no to baking those cookies (I do!). Take a break from our elderly parent(s) once in a while. Open a can of soup for dinner. We can let a few things go and still be good moms!

And during these tough economic times it's even more important that you take the pressure off of yourself: let your two year old keep her bottle a little while longer. Keep the pacifiers around another three months. Hold off on potty training until YOU are ready for it. Give your kid some juice (but mix it with water--see! there I go again!).

Strive to under-strive.

Perfect that art of imperfection.

Be a mom who can--and cannot, "Not now, maybe later, mommy's tired... here, have some juice."

One Perfect Day
Hanging out at The Sunday Parenting Party!
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If you like to read, try some memoirs by other moms who have had struggles, one of my favorites is Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son's First Year by Anne Lamot.

Another book I love is Confessions of a Scary Mommy by Jill Smokler: "An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood: The Good, The Bad, and the Scary."


and then, she {snapped}
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